Chapter 3: Condoms: The Frontline

The Original—and Still Essential—Tool of safER sex

📋 Session Overview

Duration: 75-90 minutes

Part: Part II - Sexual Barriers: Tools for Freedom

MATCH Connection: This chapter addresses the "T" (Tools) in MATCH

🎯 Learning Objectives

By the end of this session, participants will be able to:

💡 Key Concepts from the Ebook

📦 Materials Needed

🚀 Opening Activity (10 minutes)

Myth Busting: Condom True or False

Purpose: Surface common misconceptions about condoms and address them with facts from the ebook before moving into skill-building.

Instructions:

  1. Designate one side of the room as "TRUE" and the other as "FALSE"
  2. Read each statement aloud and have participants move to their answer
  3. After each, reveal the answer and brief explanation

Myths to bust:

Statement Answer Explanation
"Condoms break all the time" FALSE When used correctly with lube, breakage is rare (~2% with perfect use)
"Using two condoms is safer than one" FALSE Causes friction between layers, increasing breakage risk
"You can store condoms in your wallet" FALSE Heat and friction weaken latex over time
"Internal condoms give the receptive partner more control" TRUE Can be inserted before sex, don't rely on partner's erection
"Lambskin condoms protect against HIV" FALSE Pores are too large—only protects against pregnancy
"Condoms reduce pleasure for everyone" FALSE Many people enjoy condoms; peace of mind enhances pleasure

Debrief: Ask participants: "Why do you think these myths persist?" Discuss how misinformation spreads and why accurate knowledge matters.

📚 Core Content (35 minutes)

Begin with this foundational quote from the ebook:

"Condoms have been around for centuries. They've been mocked, misunderstood, and misused—but they remain one of the most powerful tools we have against HIV, STIs, and unintended pregnancy. Think of them as the frontline shield: simple, affordable, and—when used correctly—extremely effective."

Part 1: External (Male) Condoms (15 minutes)

These are the most common type: a thin sheath rolled over the penis before sex.

✅ The DOs ❌ The DON'Ts
  • DO check the expiration date
  • DO open the package carefully—no teeth, scissors, or sharp nails
  • DO pinch the tip before rolling down to leave space for semen
  • DO use lube to prevent breakage (water- or silicone-based, never oil)
  • DO hold the condom at the base during withdrawal
  • DON'T store condoms in wallets or hot cars (heat weakens latex)
  • DON'T double up (two condoms = more friction = more breakage)
  • DON'T reuse. Ever!!!
  • DON'T mix with oil-based products (Vaseline, baby oil, Crisco—yes, people try)

🎯 Live Demonstration: Proper External Condom Use

Demonstrate step-by-step on a model:

  1. Check: Expiration date and package integrity (no tears, air pocket intact)
  2. Open: Push condom to one side, tear package at the edge carefully
  3. Orient: Identify which way the condom rolls (should unroll easily)
  4. Pinch: Pinch the tip to leave space for semen (prevents breakage)
  5. Roll: Place on tip and roll down to the base in one smooth motion
  6. Lube: Add lube to the outside if needed (enhances sensation, prevents breakage)
  7. After: Hold base and withdraw while still erect
  8. Dispose: Tie off, wrap in tissue, throw in trash (never flush)

Have participants practice: Pass out models and condoms. Allow 5-10 minutes for hands-on practice. Walk around and provide feedback.

Facilitator Tip

Normalize mistakes! If someone puts it on inside-out, show them how to identify the correct orientation. Emphasize: It's better to mess up now in practice than in the moment.

Part 2: Internal (Female) Condoms (10 minutes)

From the ebook: "Less famous, but just as effective. These are pouches worn inside the vagina or anus."

Why They're Great:

  1. Can be inserted hours before sex
  2. Cover more area around the vulva/anus, offering extra protection
  3. Give receptive partners more control (don't depend on partner's erection)
  4. Made of nitrile (not latex), so safe for people with latex allergies

How to Use:

  1. Squeeze the inner ring and insert like a tampon
  2. Ensure the outer ring rests outside the body, covering the opening
  3. Guide the penis (or toy) into the condom opening
  4. After sex, twist the outer ring to seal and gently remove

Common Myth from the Ebook

Myth: "You can use an internal and external condom together for double protection."

Truth: That creates friction and makes both more likely to break. One condom at a time is enough.

🎯 Quick Demo: Internal Condom Insertion

Use an anatomical model or visual diagram. Show how the inner ring gets inserted and the outer ring stays outside. Pass around an internal condom so participants can feel the material.

Tip: Adding a drop of lube inside the internal condom increases sensation for the insertive partner.

Part 3: Lambskin Condoms (3 minutes)

From the ebook:

"Yes, they exist. Made from sheep intestine. Effective against pregnancy— but not against HIV or STIs because the pores in the material are too large. In prevention terms: not worth the risk."

Key message: If preventing STIs is your goal (and it should be), stick to latex, polyurethane, or nitrile.

Part 4: Making Condoms Sexy (7 minutes)

The biggest complaint? "They kill the mood." But that's a myth you can flip.

Strategies from the ebook:

  1. Try flavored condoms for oral sex (makes it taste better, adds variety)
  2. Experiment with ribbed or textured varieties (can enhance sensation for receptive partner)
  3. Incorporate putting on the condom into foreplay (use your mouth, make it playful, turn it into teasing)
  4. Remember: Nothing kills the mood faster than stress about pregnancy or STIs. Condoms give you peace of mind—and peace of mind is sexy.
"Condoms aren't old-fashioned — they're timeless power moves."

💬 Discussion Questions (10 minutes)

Facilitate Group Discussion:

  1. What are the biggest barriers to using condoms consistently?
    • Encourage honest answers: cost, access, partner resistance, reduced sensation, embarrassment buying them
    • Problem-solve together: How can we address each barrier?
  2. How can partners make condom use feel more natural and integrated into intimacy?
    • Discuss: Dirty talk, playful application, making it part of the rhythm
  3. What would you say to someone who claims condoms "don't feel good"?
    • Responses: Try different sizes/materials, add lube, reframe as care/respect
  4. Why is access to free condoms important for public health?
    • Connect to: Reducing barriers = increasing consistent use = fewer infections

🎨 Interactive Activity (15 minutes)

The Condom Challenge: Speed & Accuracy

Purpose: Build confidence and muscle memory in applying condoms correctly.

Instructions:

  1. Set up stations with condom models (one per participant or per pair)
  2. Round 1: Have participants apply a condom correctly (no time pressure)
  3. Round 2: Time them—how quickly can they do it correctly?
  4. Round 3 (optional): "Lights off" challenge—can they do it in the dark or with eyes closed? (Simulates real-world situations)

Scoring:

Award silly "certificates": "Certified Condom Expert" or "Frontline Shield Master"

Debrief

Ask: "How did your confidence change from Round 1 to Round 2? How will this practice help you in real situations?"

Emphasize: The goal is confidence, not speed. In real life, taking your time is fine—what matters is doing it correctly.

🔄 Closing & Reflection (10 minutes)

Chapter 3 Takeaway

"Condoms may not be flashy, but they work. They're the foundation every other prevention method builds on. Master them, respect them, and don't be afraid to get creative with them. Condoms aren't old-fashioned — they're timeless power moves."

📊 Quick Reference to Share

Reflection Prompt:

"What's one thing you learned today that will change how you use condoms?"

Take-Home Challenge

Give each participant a few condoms to take home (variety of types if possible). Challenge them to:

📌 Preview Next Session

Next: Chapter 4: Beyond the Condom: SafER Oral Pleasure—because mouths count too. We'll explore dental dams, gloves, finger cots, and how to make barriers feel fun instead of clinical.

📚 Resources to Share

HARNESS Curriculum | Chapter 3 Complete Lesson Plan

© Christopher Zacharie | Fearless, Aware, and Protected